Stretch
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @27clicks
Stretch
There are days where I am sure that you are the love of my life There are days where I am sure that the hate I feel for you Stretches into every part of my body
The corners of my mind My heart my lungs The dark shadows below my ribs Behind my knees and under my skin
This idea of who you are haunts me Like a scary story I know you aren’t real, I fabricated a quick fix A man who could hold me up as I unsteadily Stood on my new two feet, growing
We looked at each other with unspoken words And all that time I thought you were watering me, But it turns out you were only trying to drown me
In My Head
By Lauren Alexandra
Visual Art by @lau_3n
In My Head
Looking up, the evening sun
Filters through the trees,
Silver linings flooding the leaves
Like a patchwork of city lights,
But there are no people here
I exist in this place as an abstract idea,
Floating in the wind
I move with the long blades of grass,
The flowers that stand tall like street signs
And wave like familiar faces
A small stream grows into a river
Beside where you lay
Sunlight flashing on the surface
Like a million cameras flashing
They are here to see you,
To capture the image of you
The breeze carries it over to you,
A hard copy of the person you want to be
how do I tell you?
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lynnybin1113
how do I tell you?
how do I tell you I love you? how do I tell you I only want to be alive while I’m by your side?
I found an energy in you I’m not sure if I’ve ever experienced before
I have a feeling I wouldn’t have been able to miss it, miss you if you had come into my life in another form before
how do I do this? how do I age and grow without falling between the cracks of this broken pavement?
These days I find it easy to sit and let the light dance around my shadow, untouched
I hold a hot cup of tea and it centers me
Do you understand what I’m trying to say here?
Anatomy
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lynnybin1113
Anatomy
My hands
My skin
Look closely, check it twice
The same marks
The same blue veins
My eyes
My lips
I’ve known you all my life
My stomach
My hips
Look closely, what can you see?
Fingerprints pressed lightly
Confusing your DNA
As they clutter your pale skin
Check them twice
What makes me belong?
Vague impressions of those I once knew
Or to myself, a silhouette of a stranger
Bones
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lynnybin1113
Bones
Can you feel your bones?
They are cracked and
Threaten to crumble as
You move towards him
They turn heavy
In your loneliness,
Or should we pretend
And call this solitude?
Your bones itch and grind
Together as you move
Throughout your day
Staying still, silent
It’s never felt so peaceful
Can you feel your bones?
Their ache, their heartbeat
Their broken rhythm
A puzzle of pieces
You struggle to fit together
They poke at you through the skin
Trying to tell you something
As you move, listen
In This Moment
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lynnybin1113
In This Moment
Take a breath
Close your eyes
Can you feel your pulse?
Where does it beat?
Here,
There
It moves
Can you find it?
Behind your eyes
In your throat
Your lungs
Your stomach
Here,
There
Move with it
Close your eyes
You fabricated this world,
You lived in your head
And then you turned it inside out
Take a breath, you’re
Here
A Break Up Poem For Best Friends
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @beths.films
A Break Up Poem For Best Friends
I sleep with the blanket you got me every night,
Soft and gentle to the touch
Offering my soul a place to land
In place of you
Soft like rose petals
Fierce like thorns
Was there anything we didn't do together?
Like a sister,
Like a lover,
Holding hands,
We fought together
An ache because you no longer live inside my life
An ache because you wouldn't recognise the person who crawled out of my head, breathless
Soft like torn fabric
Resilient like broken glass
You try to stitch it back together
Like a sister,
Like a mother,
We decided to let go
Of each other
where did i go?
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @will_murdo
where did i go?
Running. Running, I am running. Through tall trees, an abyss of green as the polluted blue mist strangles the air around my feet like the smoke you exhaled onto my lips. Walking. I am walking. Over soft, gentle sand that forgives the wear and tear of my feet as the heat from the sun licks the endless wounds imprinted into my feet like the wounds you carelessly scraped into my soul, my being.
Open
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lau_3n
Open
The tightness I feel in my chest
Is the ice spreading
Its cold tendrils grip at my organ
And freeze my lungs
I try to think of the things
That bring me joy
The cold winter sun
On my skin
But the surface shines in the heat
Water dripping off the ice you moulded me into
Look at the ruins you’ve made out of me
Watching You Leave Was Never An Option
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @beths.films
Watching You Leave Was Never An Option
Her ribs soften when she
Thinks of his words,
Then harden as she remembers
His actions
Her skin sits restlessly
On her bones
Like love, she can’t make
It stay still
It threatens to leave
Changes its form in front of her eyes,
A turned back like a loaded gun
You try to move towards him
But your ribs have torn through the flesh,
Spilt all of you all over the floor
Like a string of beads snapping
But then he decided to stay,
You’re hands are full
With your broken ribs
Is this what you call home?
Versions
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @will_murdo
Versions
You haven’t written in a while,
Where have you been?
What have you been doing?
Do you recognise the person
You see in these pages?
Look back at yourself,
Turn and make eye contact
With the old you
Does it hurt?
There are parts of her that still
Linger and cling to your frame
But look at you,
You’re so new, do I know you?
I’d like it if we could be friends
Come, sit and tell me about last year
What happened?
Where did you go?
A New Day
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lau_3n
A New Day
I wake up stuck inside my head
Feeling trapped like a bug
Inside a circle of glass
I bounce off the sides clueless
Until I remain where I started
Just start the day,
What’s stopping you?
An imaginary barrier
It feels like it’s choking me
My head has stretched out
Around me and it confines me
Everything sets me on edge
But I feel soft against it all
Throw me a rope, pull me
Out of my mind
You won’t, you don’t
That isn’t your style
So I’ll swim around in my thoughts
For a little while longer,
Until I find a safe place to rest
A Letter To My Future Self
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @lynnybin1113
Colours I've Never Notied Before
By Lauren Alexandra
Photography by @rubymoffatt
Colours I've Never Notied Before
Despite winter being cold
Spewing harsh words which split my skin,
It is warm
The snow is still, it glitters
In shades I’ve never
Noticed before
The sky is pale and pink
A different hue of orange
That came before
The blonde of my hair
The forgiving lilac air,
The white of my skin